February 13, 2017

The Beauty of Things We Cannot Control

Unsplash / Pixabay

Our babysitter of two years has booked a one-way flight back to her hometown. She won’t work with us anymore and take care of my daughter.

While her departure will be months from now, there’s still time to find a suitable replacement. Still, it feels like a knife twisting inside your stomach and wrenching your guts.

It is incredibly difficult to find a person whom you can trust with your home, much less your child. Since the idea of a having a babysitter means that you will have to delegate the responsibilities to that person and be as hands-off as possible so you can focus on your work, you need to invest trust into that person.

Without the reassurance that you can rely on this person to perform even without you looking over at your back, then you’re fucked, plain and simple.

She is the third babysitter in almost three years that our daughter was born. To be frank, we are luckier than most Filipino families because our babysitters don’t necessary come and go. Since our family knows someone in the province who can help refer babysitters to my sisters and me, we always have someone whom we can eventually rely on in time of need.Plus, we are grateful to have babysitters who stay for at least six months. Never have we experienced a babysitter who left without a trace or stole anything from us.

Plus, we are grateful to never have experienced a babysitter who left without a trace or stole anything from us.

That said, it’s distressing to see a babysitter leave, plan on leaving, or even entertain the thought of leaving.

In the middle of last year, I was left to my own devices when our current babysitter took a leave of absence to attend her sister’s wedding. Since my wife works in the office, my attention as a work-from-home father was divided between my daughter and clients, in addition to home-related concerns. I was able to tend to my daughter’s needs but had accomplished nothing for my clients during that period.

This goes to show how I attribute some of my success to my babysitter. Without them, I won’t get shit done.

But now, our babysitter is leaving for good. And there’s nothing I can do about it.

I can offer her higher pay and a better compensation, but I didn’t. She did express her intent of leaving soon after her younger sister finishes school, which the latter is about to do. So I don’t want to force someone to stay just because it’s convenient to me.

More importantly, nobody dreams of becoming a babysitter. Nobody who’s a little girl dreamt of taking fuzzy kids to the bath. Or feed them food because they have to eat even if they don’t want to. Or keep your cool when they go apeshit.

Babysitting could be a thankless job especially if you hate children. There is no reward other than the money you get in return.

I cannot control her choice, nor do I want to. I can only appreciate the time she put into taking care of my daughter, among other things. It’s time to move on. It’s time for her to pursue her dreams and passions in life.

And it’s time for me to look for another babysitter.

How about you? Do you have things you have no control of? How do you deal with them and what ultimately happened? Share your thoughts by commenting below.

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