Four Things I Learned in Star City



1. Star City has no company website

For shame, Star City marketers. For shame!

Online presence has become much more valuable than ever, since more and more people are logging in to search for various information and services. I have never been to Star City before, which is why girlfriend and I planned to go there to do something different. Since we don’t know squat about the amusement park, instinct told me to access the Internet and run a search on Star City to see whether it was open on that particular day or not (it was, from four in the afternoon to midnight), how much is the entrance fee, and so on. After minutes of deep searching, it turned out that dozens of info-sites, good and bad, have littered the online scene in hopes of filling the virtual crater left by the no-longer- existing company website.

Too bad, since there are lots of online marketing possibilities that Star City could indulge themselves in with the existence of a company website. Four words, Star City marketing team: Ads and banner placement! That and, of course, the all-valuable information that will allow them to connect with their consumer market.

2. Strange set-up (at least for a moment)

Walking past through the long-winded corridor jam-packed with vendors selling PhP50 female short, Spongebob pillows in different variations, and couple shirts, I was surprised that Star City looks too cramped for its own good. After walking around and looking for the good rides (to be found outside, which only occupied a quarter of the amusement park), all of the rides are to be found indoors.

It immediately reminded me of Worlds of Fun, a passable amusement and arcade center found in select commercial malls nationwide, and I’m not sure if it’s a good or a bad thing. What I’m sure of, however, is that I expected Star City to be open-air and such, just like Enchanted Kingdom or Payanig sa Pasig (remember that one?). Nonetheless, at the end of the day, I didn’t mind the design of the park after diverting my attention to the rides.

3. I miss the feeling of having my genitals get ripped off by the sheer velocity and speed of thrill rides

More than a decade ago, I hated thrill rides. The horror started when I rode Anchor’s Away at Enchanted Kingdom. My sisters and uncle opted to sit at the very end of the ‘ship’ and I obliged, not knowing of the sheer horror that would await me minutes from now.

I honestly did not remember a lot during the ride, expect that I was pale as winter, my face painted the expression of the Apocalypse, especially during the peak of the swing, and the ride had to be stopped minutes early because my uncle was screaming to have the ride stopped.

Holy shit. My hands are sweating like a broken faucet as I am typing this suppressed experience of mine.

Anyway, I eventually got over the fear of thrill rides and understood the concept of having your life hang in the balance while cherishing the moment. An eventful visit at Six Flags in California cured me of this irrational disease, in particular Batman: The Ride, a themed attraction ride in which the seats are attached overhead, thus exposing the legs and feet of riders who dared try it. That was awesome, at least in 1998.

I can’t remember having rode a thrill ride before visiting Star City but it definitely felt like eons ago as my heart pounded and feet sweat in anticipation of the Viking to start, which is similar to Anchors Away at Enchanted Kingdom, if I’m not mistaken. Once the Viking mounted its furious swinging, with my groin starting to feel like it’s going to come off, from that point on, I felt at home.

4. Girlfriend now knows I scream like a girl

Girlfriend stayed put due to dizziness from the previous rides we’ve taken. And so, like a teenage Japanese schoolgirl, I boarded the Star Flyer, a smaller version of Batman: The Ride, as it blitzed through the loops and turns of the track in less than a minute, which was too short for its own good. After heading back to my woman, she asked why wasn’t I screaming during the ride. I said I was screaming like hell and that it was an awesome, albeit short ride.

Still not feeling well, girlfriend let me ride the Zykloon Loop, the standard roller coaster ride of Star City, by myself. After the Zykloon has traversed the Loop and made this eager beaver happy, I headed to girlfriend who was sitting at the bench near the food stands. At that point, she was suppressing a laugh while confirming if the high pitched squeal of a prepubescent girl that she heard from the ride was mine. After proudly confirmed her worst fears, she simply nodded and said that she indeed heard me during the Star Flyer ride, who she originally taught was a little girl.

I still don’t know why I’m proud of this fact.

Christopher Jan Benitez

Freelance writer and content marketer by profession. CEO of GoSmrk, a boutique digital agency that focuses on helping online businesses by using the latest and best growth hacking techniques. Magical Tumbong is a place where he vents out about non-work related matters.

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